Out with the old in with the new!

Well first off let me say there is so much to blog about WOW what a roller coaster couple weeks since Christmas. Its really been wonderful but I will have to save that for another blog and trust me it's coming. Here's a hint...I'm a grammy (name pending) ;) Anywho I've been doing some reflecting lately. I have felt some serious lulls in my life worrying about things I really can't control. Ya see I don't have a real strong core of friends I mean I have friends I can tell anything to but I used to have a friends that I went everywhere with and I just haven't been able to find that again or even keep the one's I had. I've been trying to figure out why I can't seem to get that again. I realized it's me! Yeah it was a DUH moment. I am perfectly content with spending my days and nights with my kids and although an occasional night out with just me and maybe a friend is very nice it's nothing I really make time for. I for once in my life am content. My husband is really my best friend. We love spending time with our family. The times I've spent running around with and talking on the phone with people for endless hours are really not who I am anymore. I have found texting, twittering, facebook and myspace to be my best form of communication. I use that quiet time in the morning for talking to my kids and once they are dropped off just listening to music and praying and thinking about the day ahead. It's been really nice reflecting and getting comfortable with myself and my relationship with Rick and God. I really can't have it both ways. Don't get me wrong I love my friends and I truly regret not finding a happy medium with the ones that have wrote me off. I can't change the past all I can do is look forward to the future. I am trying to take a more positive look at things. I wont lie that will be hard for me. I've already struggled and failed. I am fortunate that God is helping me with this by showing me little ways that I can be positive. In 14 years I've never felt more content with my life. I love growing as Christians with my husband. I dont want to come off like I don't care about my friends because I really do I just can't worry about what I can't control. I don't want to get in that rut again where I stay so negative about everything. I know this is just a bunch of rambling but I needed to get it off my chest. In church Sunday the Pastor asked "What are you big rocks?" and it really got me to thinking about priorities and whats important. Sunday night after we left our small group I really got to thinking about this and have spent the rest of the week working on it. I have to go now and get ready for church. Pray for me : D